Date With Destiny

February 3, 1997

When a dear friend approached me about attending a Tony Robbins' seminar, I was just a tad bit apprehensive and reluctant. I said to myself, "Why do I need to spend a week with a man who is all over the television plugging his infomercial and telling people what is wrong with their lives?" Though I knew I needed to do some personal work, I imagined that it would come in installments along my journey. Maybe I would connect with a healer in Australia or maybe bond with a spiritualist in Africa. I didn't know. Boy, did I not know.

The whole purpose for my journey is to open my soul, open my heart, open my mind. So instead of taking the road most frequently traveled, I took the road less traveled. And it made all the difference! Sounds like something I read in English class years ago. Anyway, I signed up to attend the seminar which was being held on St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands. I figured, if I don't learn anything or even enjoy the seminar, I can certainly work on getting a great tan. Right? Well, Liz and I decided to go out a couple of days before the seminar began and get acclimated and settled. This time gave us the opportunity to get organized and focused on what would eventually be, one of the greatest weeks of our lives.

The first day of the seminar is upon us and we enter the large auditorium where everyone gathers and gets ready for our date with destiny. The music is pumping, the crowd is clapping, everyone is dancing, and people are standing on their chairs. At first, I thought I had entered the state penitentiary or a loud and obnoxious concert. Either way, it was quite entertaining and really got the adrenalin going. A part of me was getting fired up, full of anticipation and full of fear, fear of the unknown. All of a sudden, Tony Robbins appeared. A man who stands about 6'7" and has a magnificent presence. You could feel his energy and enthusiasm from the minute he appeared on stage. A part of me wanted to hug him while another part of me wanted to hit him. That's where the confusion started. But as the week went on, it became more clear that this problem had not just started. It has been lingering for eleven years. Eleven years too long.

The first day of the seminar was an introduction to the seminar, a new beginning to my life. Now it is very important that you understand this next statement. Tony Robbins is a messenger of God who does not tell each and every person how to live his or her life. He simply reminds us that each one of us has a blueprint to fulfilling our destiny and that it is up to the individual to make it happen. He is simply a teacher, a facilitator who was sent to help us. He is a man who has studied human psychology for 20 years and has dedicated his life to helping his fellow man and making sure we don't miss out on the excitement and pleasures of life. This remarkable man is only 36 years old. Yes, he has been studying humans since he was 16 years old. Pretty amazing!

Before I was able to experience the seminar, I took a detour to hell. It is a place that I have been a frequent visitor of for the past eleven years and though I have put myself through an abundance of pain in this destructive zone, I have learned many invaluable lessons from it. First and foremost, it is a place that I refuse to go to ever again. Period. Tony's insight assisted me in locating the person I want to be. The person that I am confident will make a difference in the world by loving myself and in the process, loving those around me. He and his coaches helped me break down the barriers that were preventing me from being happy. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I am a happy person. But when I am alone in the morning or at night, I look in the mirror and ask "Who am I?" Pretty scary, huh? It stems from fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of success, and fear of being alone. Where did all this fear come from? What happened to this courageous young teenager who faced paralysis head on and did not miss a beat in his life? What happened to this energetic soul who has a passion for life and loved to smile? Well, along the way he forgot what love was. Not love for others, but he forgot what self-love was all about. It was a large void in his life, and he was not going to reap all the benefits of life until he confronted this fear, by relocating that courage, and learning to love himself. Sounds like an insurmountable challenge, doesn't it? Well, I thrive on challenges.

This was a challenge that I was willing to accept and face, but I did not know how to do it, therefore; a part of me gave up. Thank God my best friend was there to support me and help me turn around my life. My sidekick for this entire journey, Elizabeth Hills, was my partner for the seminar and the best teacher I have ever known. She and I met about a year ago and have become the best of friends. When I was given this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to travel the world, I was asked to bring someone to assist me in my travels and research. Without hesitation I asked Liz and she immediately accepted. Her quick response was so important to me. I needed to know that she was doing what was best for Liz because I know how unselfish she can be and I did not want her to miss out on fulfilling her own destiny. But after this seminar, I realized more than ever how vital it is that she accompany me.

If there is anyone who knows how Scott Chesney operates, it is Liz. She knows what buttons to push, when to back off, and when to be the most incredible support system a man has ever known. During the seminar, we were able to help each other and maximize the experience. It took me a little longer to address some issues that were holding me back, but thanks to Liz, everything came out. Emotionally, I simply broke down. Liz had promised me that I would get through this and see a light at the end of the tunnel. But it was I who had to believe it. And then it happened. A "breakthrough" as Tony Robbins calls it.

After eleven years of beating up on myself, challenging myself to the point where I was never satisfied, comparing myself to others, lying to myself, and not being gentle with myself, I was sent a message. It could have been a message from God or a message from my father who passed away two years ago. I don't know. But what I do know is that it was one of the most triumphant moments of my life. At that one shining moment, it all became so clear as to why I had put myself through all this pain and suffering. Back in 1985 when I became paralyzed as a result of a rare congenital malformation that exploded in my spinal cord, I was told by doctors that there was nothing I did to cause this and that it could not have been prevented. Meanwhile, my father had this belief that through my weight-training for sports I inflicted this upon myself. Maybe it was his fear that because it was congenital he felt responsible. I do not know. Anyway, even though I did not think too much about what he had said, so I thought, I moved on with my life. When I became paralyzed, I was so concerned with how every one else was feeling, that I forgot myself. Deep down inside because of what my father had told me, I felt responsible for everyone's pain and suffering. As a result, I began beating up on myself and questioning my self-worth. Needless to say, my questions were never answered because I felt worthless. Rather than boring you with all the time that I beat up on myself, let's move forward to where I am today.

Today, I am a strong, courageous man who loves himself dearly. He knows that his mission in life is to make a difference in the world by helping others and that in order to complete his mission, he must love himself. Now if you are unclear as to the meaning on self-love join the club. What I can tell you from my perspective, is that it is a place of peace where you are happy with the things you have and not concerned with the things you don't have, a place where you feel complete, strong, courageous, a place where you can smile in any situation, or a place where you can simply say, "I love myself!"

Now many of you may be saying to yourself, "This is fine and dandy, but what strategy does Tony Robbins use to help you get the most out of your life?" I promised myself, that when I returned from the seminar that I was not going to push this unbelievable experience on anyone. What right do I have to tell someone how he or she should conduct his or her life? None. That would not be fair to you or me. I simply want to share my experience with you and hope that you will consider enrolling in the seminar because you want to attend. Not because I told you to attend! It has truly made a difference in my life. I would like to acknowledge the following individuals for allowing me to have this incredible experience:

My father
My second father
My best friend
Tony Robbins
Jayne
Brooks
Joseph
All my new friends from the seminar
ME!!!!!!

 

 

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Contents Copyright 1999 - 2002 Scott F. Chesney.
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